


The one with the talk about Anna

by akachankami



Series: Shippers Anonymous [22]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Angst, Anna/Bates background/mention, F/M, Pregnancy, mention of miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 21:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11700273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akachankami/pseuds/akachankami
Summary: Prompt:He watched from the hall, mother & daughter, or as good as. Hurrying to the kitchen when Anna left, he gathered up the wine & reached for the tin of shortbreads that Beryl kept hidden above the sink. He entered without knocking & locked the door behind him. "Will you tell me now, what's been going on?" "I'm surprised you've not heard about it from Mr. Bates," she replied with a grim smile. "Bates is even more surly than he was before & I'd like to know what the problem is."





	The one with the talk about Anna

**Author's Note:**

> I... tried my best to flffify this one but sourly failed ._.

Elsie holds her glass high for him to fill it and takes a tentative sip before answering.

"It's the baby," she admits.

"What about the baby?" he asks sitting opposite her with his own glass.

"Mr Bates says she's going through morning sickness now and I can see she's exhausted and I told her to rest, shifted some of her tasks to other maids…"

She hesitates to continue then and Charles refills her glass one more time.

"Anna wants to pretend nothing changed but she's asking too much from herself, she's risking her health, and that of the baby as well."

Charles frowns in between sips and tilts his head deep in thought.

"She hasn't told Lady Mary yet."

This new information seems to upset him more somehow and his frown deepens: "She's gonna show at some point, what is she waiting for?" he mutters "Do you think she wants this baby as much as Mr Bates?"

"What? Of course! … At least, I think… Why wouldn't she?"

"I don't know," he admits "it seemed they had a falling out last year."

"Well…"

But she doesn't develop her thoughts and they both drink the rest of the wine in silence till Charles stands up with a sigh and paces the lenght of the room. Of all the people he saw falling in love through the years he never thought Mr Bates and dear Anna would end up being so unhappy.

"I think Anna is scared," Charles hears her say "there were other…"

"… babies?" he guesses disbelieving his suggestion.

But she nods silently, probably regretting telling him, but now that they're alone in her sitting room, high on wine and both tired of secrets she thinks the night will erase the feeling. She feels lonely, he can tell.

"Anna was so happy the first time," she whispers "she wanted to tell the whole world but it lasted only a week…"

He can see her eyes are glistening with hidden tears now and he wishes he'd never asked. But it's too late, he sits back next to her, suddenly exhausted, thinking sharing this burden with someone will do her good, at least. And he finds himself desperately wanting to see her happy again.

"It happens, sometimes," she explains avoiding his eyes "but it happened again, and again, to Anna." Her voice tapers off then and she dries her eyes discretely.

"I'm so sorry."

"She's afraid now, she doesn't want to hope anymore."

"I can understand."

"Do you?" she asks then looking him in the eyes "Because I don't."

This sudden confession gets him off guarded and he fixes her wide eyed.

"She can have it all: a family, the man she loves, his baby… and her job, with a little balance."

"I don't think she'll work again if she gets to keep the baby," he objects.

"And why not? We had a maid with child before."

"That was different."

"I'd help then!"

"You?! With everything you already have to do?"

"I don't mind."

"I do mind! You'd tire yourself into the grave!"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

She shakes her head but he can feel his cheeks burning: "And what if she retires to look after her child, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing! But I want her to have the option, I don't want her to choose work over family like I did"

This shuts him up. This shuts them both up. Something burning hot hanging in the air. Maybe it's the wine… His ears are ringing and he's afraid the memories of once upon a time when he threw any and every idea of a family of his own away with the ring he had bought for Alice show on his features. He reads similar lines on her face and his heart races to the point it aches.

"I beg your pardon," she whispers.

"No, you're right… They can have it all," he admits "we should help them."

"They deserve it."

He nods. _They_ deserved it too but it didn't happen.

After they part on top of the stairs that night Charles goes to bed thinking about what ifs. He dreams a dream he often had his first years in service, one that faded over time… of coming back home every day and kiss his wife and children. This time they have a Scottish lilt and Elsie's bright eyes.


End file.
